Journal 5
Thursday - 01-20-11
Well… I woke up later again, and didn't go get my registration -- *again*. I'm such a bad, bad girl. Today was just another Lazy Day.
**********
Evening time rolled around, and Roma and I tried to go to practice again.
This time, it was a success!!! The hall was open, and there was practice. It was SO, SO, SO good to see everyone again!!! Many of the kids came into the school at about the same time (I figured they were coming from lessons all together), so I had a good bit of time devoted to going up to everyone, and seeing how they all were. I saw Dima; he gave me, "that smile," and the sort of arm around my shoulder while we were walking bit. =@_@= But, it was more friendly than anything, so I don't think I have anything to worry about.
*****
As happy as I was though, we didn't get far into practice before I got mad. Mad, mad, mad.
You see, this turned into one of those nights where it was very apparent how different the work ethics that Roma and I possess are. How it appears very clear, how different our goals are. And when I realize just how freaking much it bothers me. =>_<=
When you haven't been able to practice for a month, and your practice time is now considerably limited, you should NOT be checking your phone every 5 minutes during practice. And I don't care how slick the floor is, you shouldn't need to go water or oil them up after every few bars we dance of something. Or just stand around, watching other people work. News flash: we'll never look like them if you keep standing around, checking your phone, or not being focused!!!!!
(This is the part where a caricature of me right now would be spouting fire-breath, and probably crushing cities and townsfolk underfoot.)
I spent a fair amount of time just working on my own, as he'd go off and wet his shoes (so there'd be more traction)/check his phone/watch people. And I was just growing angrier, and angrier, and angrier.
Then I thought about something I'd heard, either while we were on an excursion to a school for kids, where they studied Russian national dances (It was a full-fledged academy; education, and dance.), or in a documentary of some kind. Either way, someone asked a question resembling, "What happens if you guys get mad at each other?" -- Because the dancers work so much together/so closely. --
The response, from an older director/dancer/instructor was, paraphrasing: 'This is work -- you don't get to be mad, or bring your emotions into it. You do your job, and you dance."
Holding onto that thought like a life-line, I corralled my anger, and endeavored to be sweeter or more encouraging when Roma was around me, instead of getting angry or more emotional.
Unfortunately, there's no chance to, "do better tomorrow," because tomorrow, there will be no practice. Great. Our coach is too busy to lay eyes on us, and I feel like I can't get a decent amount of focused practice out of my partner.
Frazzled,
Moscow Kitty
=>_<=
PS - There was, however, one good part to this evening. I was bragging about the hand-sewn stockings my Mutti made for my family, for our Christmas celebrations. I found a picture, and then shared it on my Facebook profile, so that all of my friends could see.
Then, I found a picture of an embroidered violin that she sewed. This is no small embroidery project, either! It's absolutely gorgeous. I was surprised, pleasantly, when my Mutti actually turned the picture into her profile picture!
Here are the pictures, so you can see them, too!
No comments:
Post a Comment