**********
The evening passed as a quiet one -- more talking with friends, while listening to music. (Tonight's playlist included a heavy repeat of:
"Butterfly" - Crazy Town; "Starry Eyed Surprise" - Paul Oakenfold; "Save Tonight" - Eagle Eye Cherry; "Jumper," "Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind; "Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls; and "Slide" - Goo Goo Dolls.
These particular songs strike a certain chord with me, and a few of them each make me think very heavily of certain individuals in my life. I'm not really sure why. I suppose it's sort of like having a soundtrack to certain memories, and I think that those individuals understand the best what I feel when I listen to the songs in question. How's that for a philosophical moment for you?)
Tangent: I got invited to a party at the Embassy on Friday. In the spirit of being friendly, and trying to get to know my "age group" a little better, I sent Vova a message inviting him and Masha (his partner) to the party, as we were told we were allowed to invite guests. I thought it might be fun, and as they both (or at least Vova) speak English fairly well, I figured they wouldn't be too intimidated by the idea.
I didn't hear back, however, so I'm not sure how the invitation was received.
*****
The night turned a little more serious with two conversations with friends in particular, thanks to one asking a well-placed question, and the other having the unfortunate distinction of being turned into a sounding board while I had something of a "dumping session" at him… Mostly just things on my mind around graduating/finding work/wanting to remain in Moscow/school/capabilities/etc.
First conversation -- Friend who asks the, "How are you? Really, I mean," question:
Me:
You *would* ask me that.
Ha ha ha ha
(And it's one of the reasons I love you.)
I'm doing pretty well, for the most part.
Been able to talk to one of my best friends back in the US a little more [Yitian] -- she got Skype. We're both thrilled to be back in touch. We really were missing each other.
I danced with someone at hustle the other day who resembled Tyler** a great deal. That was... Odd.
I don't think about it much, but obviously, how things turned out with him and Pete is still a shame.
[** -- One of, "My Marines," in the original group.]
[Lately] I'm reminded I have terrible timing when it comes to relationships -- [it] seems there's someone in the US with whom I could have somethin' awful nice [if I were still in the area].
But, well, here I am [in Moscow]. *smiles*
It's funny, because we hung out while I was home -- we had known each other in passing in high school, but it was the first time we had ever hung out together.
And it was one of those times where it goes from feeling like "hanging out" to "having a date."
But at the end, when he walked me to my door
There was a palpable, "Uhh, are we supposed to kiss???" feeling hanging in the air.
When we went to hug, I stayed close, and then kissed him on the cheek -- but when he didn't reciprocate, I thought I'd mis-read him.
Turns out, as he told me later, he'd been at the Colts game earlier, tailgating, and his lips were chapped. And he thought he was going to see me again.
Of course, he didn't, and he told me he wished he'd kissed me then. XD
My friend:
Always wish you kissed the girl
Sober**
Me:
*shrugs and smiles*
So, happy feelings all around.
But I'm a little disappointed about the timing of things.
I'd really love to be dating someone. But I don't think that's happening here [in Moscow].
[** This is a joke reference from the summer (which I never wrote about, for many reasons) which relates to my having told this friend, "I just wish they wanted to kiss me when they were sober!!" After becoming frustrated with some guys who only seemed to want to make a move for me, or to try to kiss me, after they'd had more than a few to drink.
At the time of this conversation, I was so stressed out that I *completely* missed the joke reference, which incredibly well-executed!]
**********
Then, there was the conversation with my friend Mark. It started off pretty lightweight, a bantering back and forth of clever quotes:
Mark:
One of my favorite quotes is "history does not repeat itself... but it does tend to rhyme."
[Brief discussion about how I need to add that to my "Quotes" file that I keep.]
Mark:
Some day our Skype log may be reference material for historians - or even your biographer.
Me:
So will my "Quotes" text file.
Of which I would estimate, 50% or so of belongs to you.
And you say biographer like I'll be rich/famous someday!!
[A discussion of quotes that may have been attributed to Mark Twain, but not actually said by him (including the "History" quote above), yielded the following:]
"To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady." Not by Twain but by Wilson Mizner.
"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction." Also attributed to Clarence Darrow.
*****
Then I stayed up all night again, and you can follow the rambling brain it left me with below:
Me (Starting at 6:05 AM):
I can't believe I've stayed up all night again.
:/
Bad Caitlan
I really needed to sleep
Or shower. Or take my make up off
Or do homework
Or something.
And now my host mum is up -- and I don't want to get in the way of her getting ready to go to work, etc.
Mark:
I have a plan.
Me:
Stop talking with people online?
Mark:
Half a shower, keep the makeup, and do the homework. I'll help you but you'll need to turn your camera on.
So I can see the text.
Me:
Ha ha ha!
(Also, I haven't done my journal, or written Yitian's letter yet either...)
Well, it's not [homework] for class yet.
It's French, actually. [Saying this because Mark took Russian with me, but doesn't speak French.]
Campus class right now.
And I was supposed to hang out with a friend today (Mulzoff!), but I didn't hear from him yesterday when we are supposed to meet
Mark:
Half a shower, keep the makeup, do the homework with the camera on so I can give moral support?
Better, half a shower, take the makeup off, turn the camera on, and dance while I play videogames?
Me:
No Camera - at this point, I look like Death, still frozen**.
[**Colloquialism: "You look like Death, warmed-over."
Usage: When someone looks terribly unwell/sick/exhausted -- e.g., they look just slightly better than Dead]
Mark:
Dooo eeeeet.
Me:
I have standards
Mark:
Standards?
Standards!?
Standards would be "Hey Caitlan I got a webcam, wanna lo-" "-no."
That's standards.
Me:
*dying of laughter*
*****
Then, I segued into a discussion of work, and my fears about debt, etc:
Me:
So, it's interesting.
I was talking with a friend: an RN; who is going to be getting her Masters to attain a Midwife certification.
Because apparently there are jobs overseas paying 150,000, and providing housing, etc.
According to said friend, after having a bachelors, it's possible to pick up a nursing degree in about 2 years + clinicals, and then another 24-28 months for the Masters.
And as far as costs go, she said she got her Nursing degree, schooling etc. all for around 3k, because there are tons of grants available to help finance the education.
But for that kind of money (the 150,000 K salary)
I could pay off my student loans in one year, and still have 60-70 K dollars.
= O-o =
And I think there's something like a month of vacation.
How crazy is that?
Mark:
Obviously you're forgetting that many European countries have like 50%+ tax rates.
Me:
Yeah, there's that, too.
But, I'm just saying.
Even with taxes… I mean, make it 2, 3 years -- that's still some serious debt reduction potential.
I've mentioned I'm terrified I'm going to wind up vaguely useless and in tons of debt, right?
I about panicked when I saw the response to my email that my aunt's neighbor sent (in short, she's an international headhunter, but more like she just match-makes, doesn't actually look for specific jobs).
And in it, she asked (and provided an example of), "What "skills" or "program(ming) systems do you know?"
And I just looked at it and said, "&*$#."
Mark:
Yes, I am aware of how scared you are of ending up in debt.
I think it's good of you to be considering what to do to get out of it, as well.
Me:
Well, I have the contingency plan.
I mean, I know that, as much as I want to, I can't return to Russia and keep studying dance here, with the coaches I want to study with, unless I have a job to support that.
But, say I manage that ok.
I'll stay here, work my ass off for the next 2-3 years
(So, until I'm 24/25)
And at that point, I'm still "young" enough to "reroute" if necessary.
Military service for some time, besides being a great springboard, and something I have wanted to do, would also allow me to get back to school for little to no extra money afterwards.
If, say I do 5 or so years of that, and then say, "Ok, back to Sports Med/Nursing/Whatever," I'm still alright, as far as age/direction in life goes.
So, I've thought about it.
From lots of angles.
I want to be self sufficient.
Not a burden to anyone.
And I want to make sure I take care of my debt.
I know the things that are important to me
E.g. - I don't go out to eat/go to the movies/etc. a lot, because I know that I need to pay for dance lessons, and I need a good wardrobe to present myself well.
… I should really go lie down. [It was 6:43 AM by that time.]
**********
In the end, I went to bed around 7:30 AM. Oh, I've got to fix this sleep schedule thing…
Moscow Kitty
No comments:
Post a Comment