Journal 15 - James Bond, Silent Feet, Chicken, and Work!

Journal 15

Sunday - 01-30-11

BWAH HA HA HA!!! I *definitely* just heard someone who lives above me start *blaring* the 007 theme!! Oh, the irony...

What a way to start the day!

**********

I had more dance lessons with Elena today! Huzzah! I really like working with her! It was pretty comical -- I showed up in tights today, so that my legs could be seen better, but she asked, "Where is your skirt?!?!" So much for trying to please!

We went back to Rumba, the technique we'd worked on on Friday, and then moved on to Cha Cha. Somewhere in the middle, we worked on Walks; more specifically: how to transfer weight.

That led into the concept of, "Silent Feet." -- Which is to say, Elena (and the other dancers) have so much control of their feet, legs, and transfer of weight, that when they take their steps, you *never* hear the "clunk" of a heel hitting the ground. It doesn't matter how fast they are moving either. Their feet arrive quickly, straight to the point, and with NO sound. (It is SO damn impressive…)

… But I can't do it yet, because my feet are still weak. Just have to practice, practice, practice.

*****

Coming back to Cha Cha, as we were working on locks, and she had me demonstrate for her, she picked out right away, "You got that from Vitaly, didn't you?" [He uses a technique that promotes an accent on the "4 and" of a lock step.]

Lena told me, however, that she uses a different technique from Vitaly, which is smoother or, as she put it, "gentle." ("laskоvyi" / ласковый) To her, the style that Vitaly uses is more masculine; as a girl, our movement should be softer. It was interesting to me, to get another point of view on it, and another technique.

As cool as it was, however, with all of the work we'd been doing (trying to pick up the precision in my steps, control of my weight transfer and steps, plus the new Cha Cha lock exercises), I got a little tuckered out towards the end of my lessons… I was so embarrassed, and more than a little mad at myself!! When you feel your body giving out on you, there's really not much else you can do, though. I'm just thankful it happened almost at the end of my lessons.

**********

I wanted to stay and practice, but I found out that I'd be moving back to my former host mum's house today, so I had to get back home to pack!! It's frustrating… I am dancing so much less, and not even being able to really practice after lessons -- and every time I have an opportunity to pack, I am having to run off and do something else!!!

Once I got home, I found out when the taxi had been ordered for, asked to have the time of the order pushed back so that I would have more time to pack, and then got to packing.

In a lovely twist of irony, I finished packing just slightly before the taxi was originally supposed to have arrived, and then the taxi we'd ordered arrived an hour late!!

I still feel slightly guilty for leaving though… My temporary host mum very obviously doesn't want me to leave. (She's been very vocal about it, too.) She mentioned to me that she won't be having any student staying with her this semester, because there wasn't a large group of new students coming. I am worried she will be lonely, some. (Though her daughter does call her, and I think they visit on a regular basis.) I will try to visit her…

**********

Whew! And now I'm all moved in to my former host family's house again!! It's good to be back!!!!

I missed having this comfortable bed!!!!

*****

Chatting with friends this evening revealed both humor and stress -- so here are the best of both worlds:

Humor:

[Speaking to a friend about a tactic he once told me about. Getting right up in someone's face, almost nose-to-nose, then saying, "Hey," to see how they respond. When used by a guy on a girl, it could potentially lead to a kiss, in a very playful manner. I imagine it works the same in reverse.]

Me:

In other news, is it bad if I totally want to pull your game of "Chicken - 'Hey'" on someone?

*laughs*

I *so* badly want to do that to someone. And I don't even really have anyone in mind.

I kind of want to do it to a Russian -- just to see what they'd do. XD (<- That's a face depicting laughter of the, "eyes squeezed shut" variety.)

But then, I'm not ever in a position I really want to do that to a Russian in.

It's like Oscar Wilde once said about marriage proposals, "Why, one may be accepted!!"

*****

Stress:

[Speaking to a friend about my Aunt's friend who offered to help me out, and I have been worried about not having responded to her.]

Me:

As for the email thing:

My aunt Linda knows someone who: "I am a Client Liaison not a recruiter. I work with the client to define what type of staffing solution they need from a Global Perspective. I will guide you and assist you because of my relationship with (my aunt)."

We were put in touch last week (well, the end of two weeks ago?)

She asked to see my resumes, which I sent to her.

And then this past Monday, she had responded with a few suggestions, gave me some links to check out.

And of course, let me know exactly what her profession was.

Then, the airport got blown up, I was changing dance coaches, packing to move, and trying to figure out university schedules, etc.

Needless to say, I didn't get back to her.

So, I'm worried I may have offended her

Because, well, she doesn't have to help me, and I don't even think that we've met.

Friend:

Jesus Christ, you worry about that?

Me:

Well...

I mean, if she was just offering to help because she knows my Aunt, and then I didn't even bother to respond…

Friend:

Worry about real things. Not whether or not some person you've never met checked their email lately.

*hug*

Me:

Well, if she really looks at my stuff, and what I send back -- that's work for her!

And so then I don't even really know what kind of compensation she usually receives for this.

I asked -- I mean, on the off chance that some combination of her help, and my work do lead to a job offer:

Am I going to be expected to reimburse her for her work, or does the company that would hire me pay her, etc.

It probably all sounds stupid to you

But, just think, I'm where you were a year ago.

Which is to say, flipping out about finding a good job.

I'm just flipping out about finding a good job, overseas. = O-o =

**********

"I'm just flipping out about finding a good job, overseas. = O-o =" <-- That right there pretty much sums up one of the most major roots of my stress at the moment!!

But, at least I can still laugh about it!

Love,

Moscow Kitty

=^__^=

Journal 14 - Happy One Year Anniversary!!

Journal 14

Saturday - 01-29-11

Happy One Year Anniversary to me!!

That's right… One year ago, on this date, I came to Moscow, Russia! Funny how so much (or how so little) can happen and change in a year. I hope that I will be able to remain here, after my schooling is finished, so that I can make it to another anniversary here… We'll see what life has in store for me!!

Slightly funny -- when I mentioned on Facebook that I had been in Moscow for a year now (though yes, I've had a total of maybe a month and a half, or two months at home in that time), an old friend responded, "wow, it's been an year already? time flies…"

**********

Among today's random musings, which is actually related to something that happened the other day, after Roma and my's first lesson with Vova…

"‎= O_O = I understand!! I've JUST figured out, a year later, why Russians have a hard time saying my name! It's because I have a "diphthong!" (When one vowel changes/transfers into the next.) They don't exist in Russian. Well, they sort of do, but they don't recognize it as that... Ha ha!"

But I only realized this about my name, after I remembered a conversation I'd had with Yitian about hers...

Me:

I told Roma I was talking with you, and he started trying to say your name.

It's just funny -- I realized why he was having problems!

Russians don't have diphthongs. (The change of one vowel into the next.)

So, "Yi-ti-an -- where that "i" and "a" form a diphthong [Ee - t'yan] -- they can't grasp it.

He he he he he!

Which means that they say something like, "Ee - tee - YAN" -- making the "t'yan" much harder than it needs to be, because they separate the sounds of the two vowels, instead of blending them together.

**********

I wound up celebrating my anniversary in Moscow by going out with my friend Mashenka, who had moved to London just shortly after I moved to Moscow!!

Funny story, how we wound up getting put together…

When it was confirmed that I was coming to Moscow, a friend of mine told me, "My step-mum is Russian. Maybe she knows some people in Moscow?"

He put me in touch with his step-mum. She calls her friend in Moscow. That friend called another friend who had a daughter who spoke English.

And that daughter was Masha!! *laughs* Oh, the round about world of "Russian Connections," how I love thee!

*****

Now, Masha and I had never actually gotten the chance to meet, face-to-face. As I mentioned, she moved to London shortly after I came to Moscow, and she had been busy with her prep for her move! We did however, message, and chat, and we connected on Facebook.

We spoke mostly in English, as my Russian was not very good at the time.

I found out a few days ago, that she was back in Moscow, and I suggested to her that we meet up! She agreed, and we set a time to meet. She also let me know that she would be bringing some friends, which I said was great!

I didn't know it at the time, but Masha had assumed that maybe my English still wasn't very strong, and so she told her friends that we would be speaking English the whole night. (Also, when we'd been building the plans, I thought that some of my English-speaking friends would be coming along. To my dismay, those invited never really responded, so it was only myself who went.)

Not having to worry about any non-Russian-speakers, I immediately greeted Masha and her friends in Russian automatically, and a look of shock passed over everyone's faces. I asked Masha, "What's the matter?" And she expressed her surprise at the level of my Russian, and how she had told her friends to expect to be speaking English the whole night!!

We spoke almost exclusively in Russian for the rest of the night!

It was such a wonderful time! We shared stories about schooling, "cheating" in the Russian school system (Ex: students swapping passports with friends/relatives who looked similar, but were much better in certain entry exam subjects, so that their friends/relatives would get them passing entrance exam scores; or people "buying" their drivers' licenses!); (old) English colloquialisms (Ex: "The Bees' Knees" = "cool"); and other stories in between!

We also played a German board game called, "Labyrinth," which Masha had encountered during a stay at a German youth hostel, and loved! It is actually a very neat game!

We wound up bouncing between two restaurants, because the first restaurant we went to was going to be having a musical act perform, and there was a cover for it, which we didn't want to pay.

While still at the first restaurant however, I heard a song playing that sounded like a remixed version of an old-time jazz song. I asked the DJ what it was called, and who it was by, because I loved it so much! He said that the song was titled, "Ebony Rhapsody," and was by a person named, ODJBox. (You can hear him here: http://soundcloud.com/odjbox -- And also check out the song, "Sepia Sky!!!")

All in all, I couldn't have asked for a better way to pass my one-year anniversary in Moscow, than to pass it with a wonderful group of girls, and having the chance to walk around the streets of the City that has been home to me for the last year! Thank you Mashenka!!

**********

When I got back home, I set to work trying to find the ODJBox song that I had heard while at the first restaurant.

Completely by chance, during my search, I found a BEAUTIFUL photo of a woman sitting on a stool (seen from the back, nude) merged with a picture of a Cello. It was SO gorgeous.

Here is the photo. Probably NSFW (not safe for work); in my eyes, it's not pornographic, it's artful -- but sensitive types might find it a bit much. http://flavors.me/swingdelor

So, a happy anniversary, great music, and a beautiful picture that merges the very essence of music and a person -- and knowing that even while I've been here for a year, that hasn't stopped any of my closest friends and family from loving and staying in tough with me, or me loving and staying in touch with them -- what more could I ask for??

Thrilled, and Very Blessed,

Moscow Kitty

=^___^=

Journal 13 - 'You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling' and Typing Skills

Journal 13

Friday - 01-28-11

My goodness, I woke up so sore from last night's lessons!!! I suppose it's a good thing, working the muscles, etc., but oof!!!

I'm still disappointed that I didn't get to hang out with Mulzoff yesterday after all… I was SO looking forward to it! But I never heard from him on Wednesday, when we would meet, then I stayed up all night, and I never got any phone call or anything on Thursday. Turns out, he'd written me on Facebook, but I didn't get the message until after the time he'd said he could hang out… I should get another chance to see him, however, as there is the 80s Party at the Embassy tonight!

This means that the plan for the evening is to stop by the Embassy early (for the first hour of the party), go to my lessons, and then meet up with Roma and take him to the party for the last hour or so of it.

We'll see how it works out!

**********

The party was pretty quiet my first hour there - but it was still rather early. I figured it would be more "hoppin'" once I returned.

There was DEFINITELY a bright spot however, when Elliot came out looking, head to toe, like Maverick, from the movie, "Top Gun." I pretty much melted on the spot!! *laughs* I remained in puddle form when William came out in much the same guise, though under the moniker of Goose. Whew! A girl can only handle so much hotness!

Elliot filled me in on their plan to surprise a random girl at the party with a re-enactment of the "Top Gun" "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" Bar Scene, and I got to get in on a practice round of singing the song!!

As it's one of my favorite songs and movie scenes of all time, it was such a thrill for me to get to stand with my guys and sing it again!! (This being the second time that's happened. The first being at the end of the Marine Corps Birthday Ball!!)

Soon after the singing, I had to scamper off to lessons, with a promise (Received with skepticism!) to return!

**********

I had my lesson with Elena (Lena) at the studio close to Metro Belorusskaya -- and for those of you paying attention at home, this is the other studio that Vitaly works at.

Neither myself nor Roma have heard from or spoken with Vitaly since Roma asked him about what other trainer we could work with, while Vitaly was busy.

I was slightly nervous about the prospect of Vitaly potentially working as I worked with Lena -- for it would be very obvious then that a change had taken place. I was not so nervous because I'd made the decision to switch -- that, I remain soundly happy about -- merely that it would be a very public demonstration, and I wasn't sure if there was a chance of causing dramatic fireworks.

As Lena and I worked (on Rumba -- Arms and Rotation/Opposition in the body), it was somewhat funny, because people walking by kept wanting/needing to talk to her about things. So she'd keep apologizing to me, trying to tell them she's talk later, or taking care of whatever needed to be quickly spoken about, and then coming back to me.

At one point, Vitaly walked by, on his way out of the studio. It was then that I realized that there would be no Fireworks -- just a modern-day re-enactment of the Cold War, with Vitaly and I playing the parts of Russia and the US! Ha ha ha!

He didn't so much as look at me, let alone say a word to me! Granted, I didn't say anything to him, either. I stole a look, while trying to stand as demurely as possible while he talked to Lena. But with no positive sign from him, I didn't intend to try to start anything. I was sure I read it right, that he hadn't looked at me, or tried to speak to me - but I did have a little voice that said, "Maybe you read the situation wrong?"

My instincts were proved right, however, after my lessons were finished! As Lena and I changed to leave, she asked me, "How come Vitaly didn't say anything to you???" She seemed genuinely surprised!

I was surprised that she asked, having written about my/Roma and my's general situation with him; but when I re-explained it again, with a bit more detail, she seemed to understand.

We parted ways, and I hurried back to the Metro to collect Roma (who I wound up waiting on a little, after already being slightly late myself), and then rush back to the Embassy.

**********

I think that Roma had a good time, all things considered, though he didn't much talk to anybody. He said he had a good time. That's what counts, I suppose! I know I've certainly had evenings, sitting around Russians, where I didn't say much sometimes, but I still had a good time.

Thankfully, my friend Natasha was there, and she could speak to him in Russian, certainly.

Roma and I did dance some while at the Embassy, but nothing ballroom, and not after a LOT of coaxing. Much of it from Natasha, who wanted to see us dance.

Also, the "Top Gun" re-enactment apparently was a smashing success! I was only sorry that I didn't get to be there to see it happen!

**********

I got home and checked the news, and found the following article: http://www.parentdish.com/2011/01/28/official-questions-hiring-pregnant-woman/?icid=maing%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec3_lnk1%7C39901

(For those without time to read it all, here's a few quotes from the beginning:

"A member of Oklahoma's Board of Education drew heated reaction Thursday after saying a newly hired administrator would be "worthless" as a legislative liaison if she took immediate maternity leave.

Shortly after the board voted to hire Jessica Russell, who is due to give birth in April, former state Sen. Herb Rozell noted that she was pregnant and questioned whether she would be around for key days of the upcoming legislative session.

Russell was hired to represent the state Department of Education's interests at the Capitol. The Oklahoma Legislature reconvenes Feb. 7 and must end its business by May 27.

"If she has that baby in April and takes off six weeks, she's worthless to us," Rozell said.")

I read it, and I was outraged.

Not at Mr. Rozell, the man in the article, mind you. In fact, I'm on his side!!!

Situation like this are why Political Correctness in the US is both a bane to society, and has got to be stopped!!

If I am going to hire someone because I need them to work a job, and especially a few months from now, when even more work will be coming in, I am not going to hire an applicant who is going to leave when I need them most! Especially not when I know they are going to leave at that exact time! It just so happens that this lady's reason she would be leaving was… … Oh yeah, she was pregnant.

It's not like she'd held this position for a fair amount of time, or like the work load was going to stay steady in the given office. No, she was applying for a job she hadn't held before, and knew what it entailed!

So, *how* did Rozell wind up being the bad guy? *(&*()@^*(^*(!^*( Political Correctness, that's how.

What he said wasn't, "archaic, misogynistic and deplorable." It was *true*! For the love of our Lord God in Heaven people, STOP LOOKING FOR THINGS TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT!!!!!

Fact of life:

People who have babies take time off.

That time off is not a short time off.

People who take long times off are, in fact, worthless to companies who need to fill a position that is work intensive when People taking time off are taking said time off.

Get off your high horses, and have a spoonful of reality.

**********

That rant over, happy news!!!!

I caught Yitian online, and asked her if she had, "attacked" our Standard coach for me. She had this to tell me:

Yitian:

yes

and he said he chatted with you on facebook

and he said he felt all awkward, because he can't type very fast

it was cute

I pretty much agreed with Yitian by saying, "Awwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!" for more or less the rest of the night at the thought!! I had told her before that I had chatted with him once on Facebook, but felt bad, because the conversation wasn't very lively. I said something to the effect of, "I don't know if he didn't want to talk to me, or what -- but I was just SO happy to see him online, I wanted to chat!"

I hadn't any idea he was feeling bad! (And it never helps that I type, "freakishly," quickly, according to all of my friends. So I was probably inadvertently making him feel even worse about his typing speed.)

That's all for tonight!

Love,

Moscow Kitty

Journal 12 - Photos and Lifelines

Journal 12

Thursday - 01-27-11

"So, what? You're telling me, VH1, that the ONLY Pop-Up Video from your collection that I am allowed to watch in Russia is, The Proclaimers', "500 Miles?" ?!?! What, is it because they're foreigners??"

The above comment is from my unsuccessful attempt to have a Pop-Up Video marathon today, only to be blocked by Internet Video Copyright Laws, or something like that. Essentially, the content isn't available to me, because I'm in Russia. Grr!!

[For anyone not familiar with "Pop-Up Video," VH1, a television music channel in the US, used to have a show that played music videos, during which, "pop-ups," featuring trivia about the song, music video, or band -- or other, somewhat random facts -- would show up. Hence, "Pop Up Video."

It's something of a generational marker, these days. From a certain age-line on up, you can hum or sing the tag line from the show, ("Pop, Pop, Pop-Up-Video!") and those old enough will sing it with you and remember it fondly, while those too young will probably look at you as if you are crazy.]

*****

In other media-related news, one of my best friends, Cory/Munky, posted to Facebook an awesome picture he snapped of me while I was home. I didn't expect the reaction it got!

"you look like a hot evil princess that is about to try to take over the world... just saying" -- from Mowery (one of my former Moscow Marines)

"My dear, the picture in the post below is HOT! ;) What is Russia doing to you?! :D Hahaha I also l-o-v-e the scarf you are wearing!!! XOXO!!" Elizabeth (My old dance partner's Standard Partner. And the scarf she's referring to is the one that my current dance partner got me.)

*laughs* I love my friends!!

[Note From February: Interestingly enough, related to Elizabeth's comment…

Maybe a week or so into the new school semester, the head of our program and one of my professors, Galina Mikhailovna, stopped me in the hallway as I was on my way out, and commented on how good she said I looked. That's somewhat par for the course, but then she continued on, saying that something seemed different about me, though she couldn't place her finger on it. She said I seemed more, "grown up," and that whatever it was that was different, it was from the inside. How interesting!]

**********

As I said yesterday, Roma and I had lessons with Vova again today. (This time, without wardrobe malfunctions!!)

I was really looking forward to them, and hoping that it was going to be a productive day, and that we wouldn't have a repeat of yesterday's "Face-loosing" displays.

You'll also remember I was slightly worried about how the invitation to the Embassy party was received. I needn't have worried. About the first thing that Vova said to me after he arrived was that he had received my invitation, and he was sorry that he hasn't responded. Unfortunately, while he said it sounded fun, he and Masha are flying out on Friday for a competition, so they won't be in town!

While I needn't have worried about the reception of the invitation, the lesson itself left me plenty worried again…

*****

I guess Roma was having an off day, or something. Much like I'd seen him before, while in lessons with Vitaly, he appeared to be having trouble with steps and concepts that shouldn't have been that hard, at least not in Vova's eyes. He seemed out of it, unfocused, and really, without drive to work. More surprising, when we asked if he was sick, or not feeling well, and he said that he felt fine!!

Eventually, he asked to step out for a moment, and as soon as he'd gone, Vova turned to me, with a concerned, shocked look on his face, and asked me, "Is he ALWAYS like this??"

I immediately felt awash in a mix of embarrassment and shame, relief, and guilt.

Embarrassment, because, in my opinion, the way Roma was conducting himself really amounted to a waste of time, for someone of Vova's level (or of anyone, for that matter!). Also, because by being his partner, I am tied to Roma's behavior; even if I can't control it, by being partnered with him, I still feel I'm going to be judged by how he acts.

Shame, because, again, that's my partner, and this is my partnership. As far as I'm concerned, Roma behaving as he did at the beginning of the lesson the day before, and as he was today, certainly didn't set up ANY kind of a good impression for us, concerning working with us as dancers. I feel responsible for the negative impression of this partnership, and I am ashamed of it.

I want SO badly to just work, and work, and work; to become better, and to make my coaches proud, and not regret, or resent, that they are working with me. Students are a reflection of a teacher… If we were to perform badly, and yet, people knew who our coaches were, it would reflect badly on them (no matter how unfair that is in certain circumstances). I certainly don't want to contribute to a bad reflection of my beloved coaches and dancers!

Guilt, because, and this goes back to Face, I feel as though: a. these problems shouldn't exist in the first place, and b. I feel, to a degree, that I am dishonoring my partner by sharing these frustrations, or by speaking against him. It's "airing dirty laundry." It is tough to balance trying to be supportive, when you are frustrated about things that someone is doing/not doing. I feel, and it's true by nature of the encounter, that I am/was speaking behind Roma's back.

It's not as though I haven't tried to bring these issues up to Roma. I have spoken to him before, of how I have been frustrated when we don't work hard at practice, how I have felt bothered by some of his habits at practice. Unfortunately, it feels as though my words have fallen on deaf ears. So now, I am at a point, where I know that I need to look out for myself. This partnership will not do anything to increase my level any great amount. If Roma doesn't want to work as hard as I do, he won't. If he doesn't have the same passion I do, he won't want to put as much focus or effort into working as I do. I realized that if I didn't take the opportunity Vova was giving, I'd never have another one again; but a small part of me still feels like some kind of betrayer.

Relief, because if Vova was asking me that question while Roma was gone, it meant not only was he probably frustrated and/or confounded by the same behavior I am frustrated and confounded by, but it also meant that he SAW it, and that he sees I am NOT the same!! Maybe that just goes back to him and Masha having seen me working all those hours alone, before Roma became my partner; so he already knew, to an extent, just how strong my work ethic is. It felt as though some kind of understanding passed between Vova and I: that he sympathized with me for the position I was in, and, without my even needing to say anything, understood all of the frustrations I feel. Relief also, because he basically opened the door for me to give him, quickly, an honest picture of what this partnership has been like so far. All of my feelings then, which I have shouldered alone, are in the clear between Vova and myself. Hopefully, it means that if he and I have the chance to work alone, I will progress well.

I finally had the chance to deliver an SOS, thanks to Vova's question -- and I seized it as vehemently as a swimmer out of breath struggles for the surface of the water… It sounds melodramatic, but I have been drowning, suffocating in my frustrations with my partnership. Vova breaking my silence by asking if this behavior was the Norm gave me my first breath of air in a very long time…

I just hope that lessons as a pair will go better in the future…

Love, apprehensively,

Moscow Kitty