Journal 36
10-1-10
Russian School Excursion = Great
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Cookie Materials Disaster:
Facebook Status:
"I am the most pissed off I have ever been here in Russia-all for want of a damned cookie rack/other tools. Have been to at least 3 "Megamarts" for NOTHING! Food markets = everywhere, but pan/tool shops DON'T EXIST! And I don't know if the fact that I expect that there should be a store, or a few, with this kind of stuff all in one place, makes me spoiled/ungrateful, or what... I just want to make some cookies... Not so mad about the bakeware anymore. 2 lessons tomorrow. I should be excited - I just feel kinda blasé. I think I've hit a malaise. Feeling insecure about my language skills. The mistakes I hear myself making grate on me more and more, and I just get the feeling I sound like a backwards, uneducated hick. Which is making me more shy around the very people I want to talk to**. =@_@= I'll cowboy up soon, no worries."
[** I am referring to the kids at the studio here.]
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Went to Practice - Which was okay, but on the not-so-good side of that.
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Left from practice to go to Liga -- on the way, felt like I was just going to start sobbing. I'd almost rather that it had happened while I was walking. Alas, it was not to be.
Got to Liga, saw Pete; our friend Kiril was there, too [and I went and sat down next to him; we started chatting] -- and what is it, about the fact that you can, "Not cry, not cry, not cry," -- until you see a really good friend, or something, and then, "Wham!" -- you're crying before you can help yourself.
I HATE crying. *Especially* in public. Ack.
Never thought I'd be the, "Girl Crying At The Bar" -- and Sober!
Sharing Langauge/Dance Worries with Kiril
But then, Pete's A Mad Genius -- "Cheese and Monkeys" / "Cheese Monkeys" scraps of paper
Funny Things About Language
"I'd be more appreciative, but I need a napkin first."
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